Bart Simspon the Scientologist

CNN reports that Bart Simpson has been labeled as a Scientologist? That's right! Nancy Cartwright, voice of Bart Simpson, has openly claimed Scientology as her 'religion' for quite some time now. She recently called around to numerous individuals promotingaa function held by the Scientology.... people? (Not sure they are people, or if they're programed space aliens in human bodies... but that's another story) After doing so, someone posted this video on youtube. So what's the big deal? How's this involve poor, innocent Bart Simpson? Cartwright at several points in the video, including the introduction, promotes the function in the voice of Bart Simpson. FOX made a statement claiming that they in no way are affiliated with any religion and then made some pointless comment about Butterfingers. No fear folks, Cartwright will get her lashings from fox (maybe a paycut is in order?) and Bart Simpson will not be appearing in future episodes as a space alien scientology whatchamacalit. Check out the CNN video by clicking here.

Seriousitys Top 5 Superbowl Ads!

Alright folks. Here we are. After pouring over the much anticipated Superbowl ads, Seriousitys has reached a consensus on the top 5! So here they are starting from #5! Enjoy!

#5: Alec in Huluwood



#4 CareerBuilder.Com: Tips



#3 Cash4gold.com: Heerres Money



#2 Doritos: Crystal Ball



#1 Etrade Babies



Congratulations to the Steelers for 6 World Championships.



Nice.

Say Wuuuut? Cardinals? Aight.

Haha yeah. Right.

Live Inauguration Coverage!!!

Let it show

3 Weeks - 3,000 Photos (New York City) from Robbie on Vimeo.

Do the Hulu

Hey folks just wanted to publicly come out of the closet for Hulu. Our love is strong. if you don't know what Hulu is, you need to. Its amazing. HD video on demand with all of your favorite shows on tap!






Full episodes and SEASONS of everything plus movies! check it out!

Jack Daniels Always Wins. Always.

Jack Daniels crossed the train track to get a drink. It sounds like a beginning of a great joke but it turns out Mr. Daniels, of Canton MA actually WAS hit by a train as he walked across the train tracks for some coffee.

The Acele train was traveling about 90 MPH when it collided with Mr. Daniels who had no idea he had just been struck by a train. As onlookers tried to tell him what had happened, he to them that no he hadn't. His only concern was finding his teeth.

Daniels refused to lay down until help arrived and with his back injured and ripped all the way down to his bottom, he was still only concerned with his teeth...which were laying on the ground. He was flown to the nearest hospital where he is in serious condition.

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History people, enjoy. (Click the pic for a bigger version)

Seriously. Stupid. Stuff.

For this edition of Seriously Stupid Stuff, we will start in the most obvious place. Football players who shoot themselves in the leg at a club and then subsequently are arrested for having a firearm in a public spot without a license to begin with. Whew. The special man that was able to bring all of this upon himself is of course none other than the slackerific, T.O. wannabe, Plaxico Burress. So congrats to you for making the top of the list sir, you are a wonder to behold. Sorry to hear about your season ending so early...wonder why they decided to do it that way?

Next up, Paris Hilton will choose her new BFF tonight. No further explanation needed on that one. On another note, my friend sent me this story which I really think raps up the Christmas/Thanksgiving holidays rather well. Enjoy.

26 Year-Old to See Every Asshole He Ever Went To School With On Night Before Thanksgiving

McCabe at the 2007 Night Before Thanksgiving Marshall High School Asshole Reunion.

NEW YORK—For the fifth straight year, Jordan McCabe will return home for the holidays and spend the night before Thanksgiving running into every smug and unlikable asshole he ever went to high school with, the 26-year-old reported Monday.

The trip back home, scheduled for later this week, will reportedly bring McCabe face-to-face with an endless string of pricks from his past, each of whom he will have to engage in awkward conversation, and generally pretend to be happy about seeing again.

"They're all going to be there," said McCabe, purchasing an Amtrak train ticket for Rochester, NY. "Every last one of them, just as shitty and conceited and phony as ever."

"I can't believe I'm going to see all those assholes again," McCabe continued.

Though he will initially intend to stay at home with his parents, grandparents, and other relatives, McCabe told reporters that after spending approximately five hours in their company, he will grow antsy, borrow his father's car, and drive to nearby Marleybone Pub. There, McCabe expects to bump into at least five insufferable assholes in the first three minutes.

"Guaranteed Ricky Cook will be there," said McCabe, adding that there isn't much else to do in his hometown. "And probably Vanessa Torres, and that dickhead Michael Schmidt. Yeah, Schimdt will definitely be there. Probably be hammered, too."

At Marleybone, McCabe will be required to partake in a number of unpleasant activities, including making small talk with several assholes who used to openly mock him during high school, and reminiscing about the "good old days" of which he was never a part. While the consumption of alcohol will initially make the evening more tolerable, McCabe is ultimately expected to leave the bar after realizing he has just as little in common with all these assholes as he did when he was 15.

"Katie Reynolds will probably come up and give me a big hug like we're the best of friends, even though she never once talked to me during school, and pretty much acted like I was invisible the whole time," McCabe said. "Boy, I can't wait to hug that bitch again."

After leaving Marleybone, the 26-year-old predicts he will patronize Bud Murphy's Tavern, a favorite haunt for locals, where an even greater number of assholes are expected to congregate in even higher densities.

Assholes such as Craig Horble, Kyle Davis, Vinny Iagosa, Brittany Pipitone, Justin Smigowski, Nick Casey, and Nick's asshole brother, Dennis.

According to McCabe, all the assholes in attendance will look the same except for being 10 to 20 pounds heavier, and possibly sporting a new beard or goatee. However, that same old shit-eating grin will still be on all their faces, McCabe reported.

If previous years are any indication, assholes who live in the area will not be the only ones out the night before Thanksgiving. Like McCabe, who since graduation has moved to New York, many Marshall High School alumni are expected to return from their new homes all across the country.

"I bet Bill Harding is going to show up and talk about his big lawyer job in San Francisco," McCabe said. "I can see it now: 'You know, hours are a real bitch. Money's good, though.' I've known that guy since fifth grade. He's always been an asshole."

Early reports indicate that the mingling of assholes will likely trigger a fight between the hours of 1 a.m. and 2 a.m., with a scuffle expected moments after two giant assholes argue over who rushed for more touchdowns during senior year. McCabe said that he usually tries to avoid any involvement in these fights, but nonetheless anticipates an elbow to his forehead or at the very least a spilled drink on his pants.

"[Wayne] Maldonado just loves to run his mouth, especially when it comes to talking shit about people's girlfriends," McCabe continued. "He used to be kind of scary when we were all in school, but the guy is almost 30 now. I feel kind of bad for him."

Though he remains anxious about the inevitable fracas, McCabe explained that those experiences are usually counterbalanced with more pleasurable events, such as finding out which assholes now have kids.

"I heard Marissa Feely got knocked up this year," he said. "What is that? The third time?"

The 26-year-old is not the only one dreading the upcoming week. Several Marshall High School alumni have expressed similar misgivings about running into former classmates on the night before Thanksgiving.

"I can't believe McCabe is coming back," said local resident Ricky Cook. "That guy's such a fuckin' asshole."

I don't care if you don't shop at Walmart.

At the same time, I am concerned for you if you do. If you haven't heard yet, more people have been killed by Walmart. That's right. Lives continue to be taken because of the apparent allure of cheap electronics and discount underwear...to the tune of 2,000 people walking on this mans face until his heart stopped. Ok, I realize discount items are exciting, and god forbid there are give-aways involved...but does it seem to anyone else that something needs to be done about this? Food for thought I suppose.

In other news. Its Britney Bitch. Spears is back and bearing her soul to her eagerly awaiting fan-base. Britney Spears: For the Record premiered just the other night on MTV and I had the pleasure of finding this clip. I can't decide if its pathetic, or if I should feel bad for this fallen star.




Seacrest. Out.

Its 4 a.m.

Talk to you all soon, Have a good one!